So I was about 30 seconds into the first episode and I already wanted to punch Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka). It’s not her fault, it’s just one of those faces…I think.
I found the first 2 episodes to be so cheesy. The ‘romance’ between Sabrina and her boyfriend (Ross Lynch) was hard-to-watch, cringey and her relationship with her besties also turned something in my stomach.
I do quite like all the dark witchy stuff, not Disney’s PG crap. Might’ve played a bit too much on Satan for a few viewers but I enjoyed it. It really spoke to the edgy teenage girl inside me. This makes me mad but I actually kinda like the series.
Overlooking the cringe, the shots were quite pretty and the characters actually have a personality, nothing vanilla about them (except maybe Sabrina’s friends and boyfriend). Each episode is different from the last, there’s no sense of repetition. There is an interesting story in every one of them with of course the main plot running throughout, but not solely focusing on that.
I love Salem, however I must admit I miss the old queer talking cat from the original series (he was bisexual I swear). The new cat is completely adorable, don’t get me wrong, and he helps with getting through all the cheese but as he lacks a voice, he also lacks a personality and that’s a shame. I am still grateful he is in the series though, I’m not sure if I could handle it if he wasn’t. Well him and Michelle Gomez. She plays Madam Satan/ Mary Wardwell, and honestly needs to be given more screen time. I don’t need to say much about her, she’s self explanatory; a treasure of modern day TV.
The second season (if there is one) is going to suck, because they always do, but also because I believe the writers are pouring all of their creativity into this season, it’s quite full on. It’s at a pace that would be hard to match, especially if all the main characters have already been introduced and Sabrina has already gotten over her teenage angst. I think next season will completely stray off path and have nothing to do with season 1, or become a knock off of Charmed. Or alternatively, they will just drag on their original story as much as they can for another 12 episodes.
The Diagnosis:
To sum up, for me this series is cheesy, pretentious and I kinda hate it but annoyingly I can’t stop watching it.
When Gunnar Hansen of Texas Chain Saw Massacre fame wrote and pitched a who’s who of horror films pitted in a hellish place forming a macabre version of The Expendables, it would be a genre fans’ wet dream. The very idea of Jason aka Kane Hodder sharing the same screen as Tony Todd (Candyman), and Bill Moseley (The Devil’s Rejects) along with the queens of horror, Dee Wallace and Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator) would leave them salivating at the prospect at what could be an Uber-scare factory. What we do get is a lot of piss and wind in a lacklustre affair that never measures up to its promise.
Before I start lambasting this film though, I do want to focus on the positives. The very premise of staging a prison break containing some of the most vicious criminals known to mankind housed in a state of the art vicinity, which placates to the criminals whims in virtual space whilst using real victims from the homeless and deprived smacks of genius. It projects a utopian world that humanity could easily travel down if there were no morals or guiding principles attached.
Kane Hodder delivers to a tee and never falters from his iconic presence in front of the camera as the lead antagonist Sieg as he steers those fallen from grace further down into the pit of the jail system – level nine, a place where the five evils preside in a nod to Dante’s Inferno.
Equally Dee Wallace proves once again that she can offer intelligence, vulnerability, and apathy in her character, Dr. Eileen Fletcher and is always a welcome presence on screen.
And full props to Director Harrison Smith who saw fit to carry out Hansen’s vision in his honour, gifting him also with an on-screen presence in holographic form as the father to one of the prison inmates, Leatherlace, which was a nice touch.
And lets not forget those delectable sultry tones from Adrienne Barbeau as the narrator of the movie…
Sorry. Where was I?
Ah yes, all these elements are enough to keep you engaged, at least for a while. Even the strange dark arts that are heavily present throughout adds a decent hook to an intriguing narrative, but those who delve into Death House may find it a struggle as the further down the rabbit hole we go, the more far-fetched and ridiculous the concept goes.
And that’s where it starts to lose me. It doesn’t help that our two lead protagonists, Agents Novak and Boon who are so two-dimensional that not even their strange deep and meaningful conversation about how they became Agents whilst casually sharing a unisex shower cubicle can generate even a twinkle of interest… well, maybe. Which is a shame, because you want to be vested in their journey, but you really don’t care.
The Diagnosis:
This is clearly an attempt to ignite the passion that fans of horror through the 80’s and early 90’s by grouping some favourites of the genre together. Whilst the premise did provide a decent hook, the journey leaves you floundering and left adrift without much care to its conclusion. A lost opportunity.
From Iron Man to Iron Man II, throw an AC/DC track on a film trailer, and it automatically makes it awesome. That appears to be incontrovertible, and the extra cool thing is, as a band they have been around for so long, they are practically their own genre. Which means you could make another 10 trailers for 10 separate films using 10 different Acca Dacca songs, and they would all be fierce! And this is even taking into account that they’d all sound the same…. but not really… (but yeah really. Ish).
Anyway, this brings us to the JJ Abrams produced WW2 horror film Overlord, which – as just mentioned; because of its soundtrack alone – appears to promise much. But does it deliver hells bells or more dirty deeds done dirt cheap?
The rumour that it was a Cloverfield prequel (which is bound to happen if the words “horror” and “Abrams” are mentioned in the same sentence) is a nice one, but not really warranted.
For a start, the Big Bad is pretty much as you’d expect based on the afore-mentioned trailer (zombies born of science!) so thematically we’re not talking space Godzilla.
Plus, the one thing that ties Cloverfield and Cloverfield Lane (I think it’s safe to say we’re all retconning Paradox out of our collective memory) is that they are brilliantly constructed and well unfolded films – they both keep moving at a real page-turning pace.
And that’s where Overlord falls down. Its opening 15 mins IS breathtaking – although it is spoiled just a tad by the fact Tom Cruise already sort of did it in Edge of Tomorrow (ie: airdrop on a war zone ahead of schedule due to plane-blowing-‘upage’).
But from there it gets a little bogged down in pace by not really giving you anything that keeps you guessing, or shouting “sick twist bro!” in your head.
In fact, from this point onwards the tension is fine but not seizure-inducing – and the filmmakers decision to spend time on some character interaction (as opposed to not jumping straight into the next action piece) is to be commended.
But before too long you do find yourself wishing it’d get on with it.
When it does it’s not exceptionally ground breaking – although the tension and scares are certainly there. And there is one more moment that you’ll be YouTubing for years to come, as it’s an awesome scene. But apart from that you are left with a taste of this-could-be-great-but-it’s-definitely-under-cooked…. parmigiana. And that’s just good chicken that (whilst good) will let you down.
If you do see this movie, give it an IMAX level viewing (or if it lines up in your neck of the woods – 4DX) because trust me,the louder this film is when you see it, the better your ride will be.
The Diagnosis:
Although not terrible, it definitely could have done with another layer of messed up, or one more smart idea, or just some good old fashion clever dialogue. From that point of view, Dead Snow was a better Nazi Zombie movie.
Joe is a traumatised veteran of both the armed and police forces. A well trained enforcer, he now works as a hired rescuer of abducted children. He’s shaped the ‘perfect’ existence for himself until his latest job plunges deep into the hell of a dangerous high level paedophile ring.
“You Were Never Really Here” is a hunter, a predator.
The first half of the film it spends stalking its prey…us. It lets us behind the steel heavily reinforced curtain to Joe’s world to show us Joe the caring son of an elderly senile mother. Balancing out his other self as the hammer-wielding purveyor of methodical retribution.
The second half, when it truly has us in its sights, pounces…going straight for the jugular. Visceral moments of extreme, yet never overplayed, violence play out like a nightmare none of us could ever imagine. Add Johnny Greenwood of Radiohead’s score to further enhance the trance, even the very final scene leave us wondering what is real and what is fantasy.
At its core, the film is a fairy tale as dark as anything the Grimm’s could write. Here are two damaged children, a veritable modern day Hansel and Gretel, lost in a vile urban forest. He the beaten down grizzly attack dog thrust out to pasture, she the broken doll passed from wolf to wolf. They’re a bizarre match made in Hades.
The two leads are phenomenal in their roles. Joaquin Phoenix’s furious intensity as the warrior without a war would strike fear into even Travis Bickle. And Ekaterina Samsonov is the perfect beauty to Phoenix’s beast. Razor cut to a brief 88 minutes, director Lynn Ramsay has crafted a brutal masterpiece that would sit comfortably on a shelf with Shane Meadows “Dead Mans Shoes”, John Boorman’s “Point Blank”, and Martin Scorsese’s “Taxi Driver”.
The Diagnosis:
This is easily my favourite film of the past few years.
It’s the sequel that no one really asked for but we got anyway.
The original movie pained its audience with characters we really didn’t care for, and left us championing the antagonist as it enacted revenge on the deserved victims.
In fairness, this latest outing in the ‘franchise’ at least attempts to deviate in a new direction, leaving the vengeful cyber spirit in its wake and focusing more on a reflection on the current fears surrounding cyber security or lack thereof.
It does however play out similarly to its predecessor, as we witness a collective of onliners in a chat room who become the target of a terrorist act when they are threatened to be killed if they call the police or disconnect.
This time around there are some more engaging characters though and the portrayal of the group is strong enough to make the audience care for them, but the storyline is weak and struggles to keep us… ahem… connected. Oh the irony.
The direction is just about enough to keep you hanging on to the end and offers up some nice tense moments to flicker the pulse on occasion.
The Diagnosis:
It’s an average film that ticks along at a decent pace but offers nothing new .
With Blumhouse productions attached, it’s a safe bet that the film will be enjoyable, but falls into their miss category amongst there plethora of recent hits.
It will serve as a night in when there’s nothing else to watch… which let’s face it doesn’t bode too well when there are plenty of other options out there.
Another directorial debut from Australia plays a part of our 31 days of horror.
This time, the guy behind the camera is Storm Ashwood (great name by the way) who leads his vision and marks another chapter in the growing genre from the land down under.
Ashwood’s vision takes the audience on a journey into a Lord of the Flies type of underworld where the kids have formed a tribe within a school setting and try to defend themselves against the various entities that reside within the rotten and dank domain.
Our guide on this journey through the land that strides between the living and the dead is Doctor Amy Wintercraig, who is so consumed with her profession looking after people in hospital that she neglected to attend to her own family.
When tragedy strikes, her son slips into a coma following a drowning accident leading Amy to become consumed with grief and detached from the ‘real world’.
In an attempt to take her own life she winds up in the School of the damned where she attempts to find her son again and bring him back home.
The story is a compelling one with Amy coming to terms with potentially losing her son and is played with remarkable strength by Megan Drury.
It was also rewarding to see Nicholas Hope (Ash vs Evil Dead, Event Zero, Picnic at Hanging Rock TV series) albeit briefly as voice of reason, Dr Wang.
The fact that most of the cast are kids and that they are all incredibly believable in their roles is a testament to Ashwood’s direction and that he isn’t afraid to tackle one of film productions more troubling areas.
Ashwood certainly has a visual style in his direction that seemingly feels part Hellraiser, part Labyrinth, and a trickle of 80s to he raw and untapped edges that ground this movie and give it an unexpected appeal that belies it’s low budget. It’s this vision that is the glue to the movie where every surface seems to leak or ooze through the ceilings, walls, and floor.
All we see is a dark analogy and constant reminder of why Amy has found her way there anyway.
If there is one niggle to be had, it’s in the audio. The choice of production music and sound effects feel low budget and breaks you out of the narrative on occasion as it smacks of made-for-tv movies of the late 70s and early 80s (and not in a good way).
It’s a shame as the movie has some interesting concepts and Ashwood is clearly a storyteller with a creative eye.
The Diagnosis:
It feels a little harsh to be so downbeat on an otherwise well crafted movie from a storyteller with a unique vision but the audio is such a killer for me and pulls you back to the surface, ripping you away from the dark and delightful playground that Ashwood has created.
Revenge is one of those rare films that not only promises, but also delivers. So impressed were The Surgeons team that it was in our Top 10 Movies of 2018. And if you were one of those who weren’t able to catch it in Australia last year, then you’re in luck as Revenge features in the programme for the Alliance Francoise French Film Festival in March.
It could easily be pigeonholed as a rape revenge horror film, but becomes so much more than that, steering away from the sexualisation to focus on the heart-pounding, brutal, and desperate fight for survival.
And boy is it a fight.
Revenge demands your attention and forces you to endure each scene to the bitter end, so it’s little wonder that it has been causing such a stir in the festival circuits.
When American socialite Jen spends a weekend away with her lover Richard before he embarks on a hunting trip with his friends, she gets more than she bargained for, when the whole affair turns incredibly ugly.
When one of the men, Stan forces himself on Jen while Richard is away, things go from bad to worse as Richard, who is unwilling for any of this to come to light, tries to pay his way out. When Jen refuses, he resorts to the only way he knows how… violence, and tries to end it all by pushing Jen off a cliff face.
Against all odds, Jen survives and every instinct in her being pushes her to claw her way out of the barren wastelands and claim back her dignity.
Some people may be quick to label this film as a feminist piece, which it is, but more than that, French director Coralie Fargeat produces a compelling narrative that is both stylish and gritty and realistic portrayal of the lengths that Jen has to go through a will to live. It’s a directorial feature that projects Fargeat immediately into the spotlight as she showcases how to make what essentially is a subject that can be all to hard to bear, and yet with heart and strong conviction we too are willing Jen to persist to the end behind every grimace and painful endeavour she must make to get there.
The acting is superb from a relatively small cast, with Matilda Lutz (Jen) more than capable of holding her own as the lone female opposite the trio of Kevin Janssens (Richard), Vincent Colombe (Stan), and Guillaume Bouchede (Dmitri).
By the films conclusion, all the characters must face up to their choices by pouring out their guts in order to bare all. There is no hiding when you are in the middle of the desert. You have no choice but fight in a barren and desolate landscape, and Revenge does exactly that.
The Diagnosis:
Beautifully shot by cinematographer, Robrecht Heyvaert, with an amazing score by Robin Coudert that compliments the narrative and keeps driving up the tension, Revenge offers some great performances that push their acting to the very limits. Director Coralie Fargeat manages to harness all these elements together whilst providing a stunning movie that elevates itself above the quagmire of sensationalism by using smart and intense drama at its core.
Luke Shanahan’s directorial feature debut, Rabbit is a stellar example of what Australians do well, Dark and gritty drama.
The difference though is that Rabbit is not just grit for grit’s sake, but a compelling and captivating drama that lures you in and ensnares you to the bitter end.
The concept is a simple one, Maude Ashton wakes from a vivid dream that compels her to return home and find her missing twin sister.
The journey she takes to find her though is a far from simple one as Maude must listen to her instincts and psychic intuition through a twisted labyrinth of trauma and despair.
Shanahan has a gift for tapping into the psychological aspects of the human mind and weaving together an intriguing narrative that in lesser hands could lead you up the garden path with no purpose or direction laid down. Shanahan’s screenplay takes you by the hand and directs you with purpose.
I also want to applaud the acting accolades of the two women in this film; the lead Adelaide Clemens who plays Maude and her twin shows great depth in her character, and Veele Baetens as Nerida who is harbouring a troubled past that she displays with great restrain beneath the surface. Both their performances were incredibly rewarding to watch and keeps you engaged throughout the movie.
The Diagnosis:
Rabbit is a quality psychological drama that keeps you entranced and could very well prove to be the sleeper hit of the year.
At the time of writing this article Halloweenhas made over $106 million dollars in Box Office sales and taken the second-best ever opening weekend of October and has become the best-ever film starring a lead actress over 55 years old.
It’s director David Gordon Green must be riding an all-time high at the moment, which is interesting as he was the original choice to direct the Suspiria remake which would have starred Isabelle Huppert, but due to a confliction of interests this vision fell through.
One can only wonder how his operatic nod to Dario Argento’s classic would have looked like. Instead Italian director Luca Guadagnino, who turned heads last year with his film Call Me By Your Name, picked up the mantle and collaborated once more with actress Tilda Swinton with his homage.
Now, a lot of people would have balked at the very idea of someone attempting to recreate a much-loved horror film, especially as Suspiria was so unique in style and content.
And yet, it’s because of this that you could argue that there is room to revisit the storyline and create something different for a new generation.
And with the trailer’s release earlier in the year, you could tell that Guadagnino was aiming to do jus that and develop a movie with the look and feel of it’s time and setting, 1977, Berlin.
It’s a fascinating time in German history as it was going through a huge discord and anarchy through political unrest, driving far-left militant organization, Red Army Faction (RAF) also known as the Baader-Meinhof Group to drastic measure involving bombing, kidnapping, and assassinations.
The climate was ripe for a dark evil to erupt, and in this instance it resides with a coven of witches in The Markos Dance Company, which too was going through a split faction between Helena Markos, the self-proclaimed Mother of Sighs and the company director, Madame Blanc, (both played by Swinton).
The story evolves through a series of Acts that opens with an unhinged Patricia Hingle (Chloe Grace Moretz) discloses to her psychiatrist Jozef Klemperer (another Swinton performance as the elderly Gent, a performance that sometimes amazes in just how powerful an actress she is, but on occasion distracts through the times that her character slips a little) about the secret sect.
Hingle quickly disappears from the scene, allegedly involved with the RAF movement. This opens the door for when our story truly begins, when American, Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) arrives at the dance company and quickly rises as Blanc’s protégé.
All the while, the dancers are unaware of what truly lurks behind the mirrored walls and beneath the dance floor and Professor Klemperer continues on his quest to find the missing Hingle (an effort that masks his own failings in never finding his wife during the outbreak of the second world war).
There are so many layers to this film that it’s easy to get lost in the narrative and fall under the spell that is cast with powerful performances from all the actors driving you deeper into the world as you spiral into the hypnosis.
This is strengthened further by the musical score supplied Thom Yorke, something of a masterpiece in his delivery and trance-like songs that perfectly accompany the atmosphere and direction of the movie.
Equally effective are the dance pieces that closely pull from the Martha Graham technique, using a psychoanalytical viewpoint on the medium depicting human struggles through every contorted and distorted action from the performer.
It’s a perfect accompaniment to the films narrative and proves a central tool to evoke the darkness beyond the known world.
American writer David Kajganich who wrote the screenplay for Suspiria openly admits that he is not a fan of horror movies and prefers to keep the drama grounded in reality. It’s a curious choice to take for a horror film, but one that speaks volumes to the final product on show.
There are some great moments in the movie that drive the drama forward in a fairly slow pace towards a fevered conclusion.
One moment that I found compelling was when the coven congregates around the dining table, providing small talk, but in the same instance offer a small window into their world and the synergy between them all.
The problem is the choice taken pulls as far from a horror as you could get with the exception of an absolutely phenomenal sequence when one of the dancers, Olga has her body twisted and contorted in a gruesome fashion that is so relentless on the screen, that you can’t help but squirm in your seat.
The timing of this delivery is hopeful too and leads you on a hopeful journey that the movie is going to go dark and harrowing, but it never comes.
By the time the finale arises, the left-of-centre change in direction is a little jarring and feels remiss and leaves any horror fan wanting.
The Diagnosis:
It’s a slow-burn movie that grinds its way to a stumbled conclusion.
The drama is gritty and realistic with some stunning performances and dramatic dance sequences that hook you in, but rather than set you ablaze in a fury of emotion, it peeters out to a mere whimper.
Ask any of my fellow Surgeons my thoughts on found footage films and they’ll be quick to tell you of my distain towards this sub-genre. I’m quick to ascend into either boredom of contempt and often find the characters grate or get under my skin and not in a good way.
There have been a few exceptions, the granddaddy of them all, Cannibal Holocaust paved the way before The Blair Witch Project opened the door for the connected generation and was incredibly well marketed for its time. I even have a fondness towards Spanish film (REC) when that was released, as it was able to ground the style of movie and lure you in with the lead character before all hell was unleashed.
Anything else and I struggle to stay tuned-in to the horrors that I being played out in a reality environment.
So it’s an odd thing to find myself lured in by a Korean film called Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum that uses the same style and choice in its direction.
The film focuses on a known haunted location in Japan, Gonjam an old asylum that supposedly houses spirits and the fact that it is an actual place and is as one of the characters states one of the 7 most creepiest locations in the world as listed by CNN, which just cements the reality of it further and allows the viewer to settle into the believable factor.
Following a trio who make up the team from YouTube channel “Horror Times” and six volunteers, they make their way to Gonjam to film a live recording from within the asylum to see if they can capture any of the supposed paranormal activity and reach the record of 1million viewers for their channel.
The last part of the equation is high on the agenda for the channels owner, Ha-Joon, who will stop at nothing to reach his goal, including using his team to manipulate proceedings to draw reactions from the volunteers.
But by tempting the devil, have they got more than they bargained for? Will they awaken something lurking deep within the walls? And what or whom resides in room 402?
The Diagnosis:
I still believe that Gonjam falls prey to the usual found footage trappings, some of the characters do jar a little on occasion and borrows heavily from the previous movies from that genre.
And one particular characteristic of the possession was just fucking annoying. Having said that, it does manage to keep you gripped to the screen and tantalises the senses enough to rise above the bog-standard tropes with some impressive shots in places, using state of the art technology.
Surgeons of Horror 