Category Archives: Movie review

Movie Review: Mad Heidi (2023)

04 Saturday May 2024

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Mad by name, mad by nature. This film is off the dial crazy and we’re all the better for it. From the crazed masterminds and self-confessed film buffs hellbent on wanting to create the first ever Swiss exploitation movie. With no money they put forward one heck of a kickstarter campaign and like-minded individuals were hooked, wanting to see the feature brought to life.

Directors Johannes Hartmann, Sandro Klopfstein wanted to take a warped dystopian future take on the classic children’s novel Heidi by Johanna Spyri. Heidi (Alice Lucy) is all grown up and quite intent on spending her innocent-yet-sexually adventurous life with Goat Peter (Kel Matsena) the local goatherd who has a little sideline in an illegal cheese trade. Unfortunately, Switzerland is under tyrannical ruling by President Meili (Casper Van Dien) who is magnificently off-kilter in his pursuit for global domination and uniting the world with the ultimate Swiss cheese. This is bad news for the lactose intolerant as they are rounded up and eradicated through cheesification techniques and when Goat Peter’s trade is discovered, he is brutally murdered and Heidi’s world spins into turmoil. In order to right it once more, she must train up and be a kick-ass warrior and bring back the heart to the Motherland once more.

The Prognosis:

This is a swiss cheese on toast movie that wears its hyperbolic tendencies firmly on its sleeves. Hartmann and Klopfstein craft a meticulously over the top jibe at all the stereotypes of their homeland from chocolate, pocket knives, watches and of course cheese and unapologetically shoves these cliches down your throat until you burst. 

Mad Heidi is so gloriously eccentric and unique that it is a welcome shift outside of the main cinematic beats, that it tempts you in and delivers all the gore, larger-than-life characters, absurdity and madcap mayhem to keep you entertained. 

  • Saul Muerte

Mad Heidi  is streaming on Shudder from 6 May.

Movie review: Skeletons In The Closet (2024)

29 Monday Apr 2024

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When you see Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Udo Kier on the credits listmon a film and you’d be forgiven for presuming that it would be a half decent entry, but Skeletons In The Closet is like the visual equivalent of hitting the snooze button on an old analogue clock. 

As the incredibly slow pace to the movie drags you desperately into its fold, we’re presented with a mother, Valentina (Valery M. Ortiz) and her husband, Mark (Howard) watch their lives fall apart, as if they were the combined metaphor of Job, continuously having their faith tested. Instead though, they are harbouring an evil presence that is sucking out the energy of their lives and inflicting a damning curse upon them. This starts with Mark losing his job after believing that he was actually up for a promotion, to their daughter Jenny (Appy Pratt) being diagnosed with terminal cancer. If that wasn’t bad enough Mark engages with a local crook based on ill advice from his brother (Gooding Jr). This inevitably leads to them putting the squeeze on the family and Mark’s logical leap to seek council from Madam Fortuna (Sally Kirkland), who just kicks the can down the road when she sees only disaster in the future. In steps the specialist Luc (Kier), who is even more mysterious and the potential threat or menace to what has been plaguing them for so long. All the while Valentina has been seeing visions of a pale woman dressed in white, haunting her every move.

Eventually we get to learn that one of them has a skeleton in their closet and must rid themselves of their curse with drastic consequences.

The Prognosis:

This is a slow and laborious possession that feels like we are shuffling off this mortal coil with the aid of a zimmer frame. 

There’s one thing to establish character, but another to make us care about the character enough by going deeper into their psychological make up. It’s as though the creatives chose to do neither here and be content on going, here look at their hardship… isn’t it bad? I wonder what is the root cause of this evil?

Unfortunately, the film is pretty woeful, and the care factor is zero for this incredibly below par snoozefest.

  • Saul Muerte

Skeletons In The Closet is streaming on Shudder from 3 May.

Movie Review: Crocodile Swarm (2024)

28 Sunday Apr 2024

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Crocodiles are sometimes known for what is sometimes called collective hunting, swimming in numbers when circling large prey. In some cases they can rip their quarry apart while one of their basks holds the victim down.

With all this in mind, you can see why the notion of crocodiles moving en masse to hunt down and kill a group of humans. This is the premise posed by Director Tyler-James (The Loch Ness Horror; Deadly Waters; Monsternado) who is no stranger to low budget creature features. When a group of cave divers break into unknown terrain they encounter a nest of these reptiles, who are a little disgruntled about being disturbed and go on a killing spree. It is when Sam (Ella Starbuck) learns of her sister’s disappearance that she then forms a group of friends to go in search of the deadly caving system in the hopes of bringing her sister back home alive.

All of this may sound good on paper, but when you learn that the creative team behind this is feature are the team behind Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey and the whole upcoming Poohniverse franchise, with Scott Chambers (one of its stars who also appeared in Hammer Films latest Doctor Jekyll). On writing duties, you can imagine the kind of movie you’re in for. 

It would be one thing if there was any merit to the narrative on display, but the acting is ropeable, and they chew through the weak dialogue without ever blinking once. Then there’s the effects which are so fake looking that it goes beyond throwing you out of the picture, you’re propelled back into your room or chosen place of viewing slamming back into the wall behind you. There was even one point in the vision on show that was so laughable when digitised crocs rips apart a mannequin. 

The Prognosis:

To sum up, the most painful part of Crocodile Swarm was enduring the film and sitting through to the end for the sake of writing up this review. I’m pretty laid back when it comes to being forgiving when it comes to low budget features, always looking for the silver lining and wanting to praise where creativity is trying to flourish, but it’s hard to look for one here when it just comes across as lazy. 

  • Saul Muerte

Crocodile Swarm is available on Home Entertainment from May through Eagle Entertainment.

  • Saul Muerte

1960s Horror Retrospective: Jigoku (1960)

27 Saturday Apr 2024

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Across the pond, Japan was also delivering on the genre scene in what would be known as their Golden Age of cinema. Part of the foundations of this era were the big 6 production houses of which Shintoho were significant in the make up. Unfortunately Jigoku would be the last to be released by the company having filed bankruptcy not long after it hit cinemas. Despite this, Shintoho would go out with a bang, producing one of the most compelling films from the country and one that went against the grain of popular cinema at the time to go on to be a cult film in its own right. 

With its graphic depiction of hell Jigoku would follow a couple Shirō and Yukiko appear to have it all going for them until one tortuous night when Shirō gets a lift home with his friend Tamura when tragedy strikes. Tamura knocks down and kills a yakuza gang leader, Kyōichi. This incident was witnessed by Kyōichi’s mother and from here on out, the tragedy unfolds with macabre consequences, including the death of Yukiko and the vengeance of the yakuza gang still looking out for justice. And all this is before Shirō goes on a Dante’s Inferno style journey into limbo, fighting for his very soul among the damned and trying to steer him and his family towards enlightenment.

Perhaps it was because they had their backs up against the wall but with extras all pulling their weight to build the sets and complete the last picture for Shintoho, Jigoku was able to weave all these components together to tell a fractured tale of heartache, loss and the fight for purity. It’s the visual imagery that stands it apart from the crowd, with a narrative that leans into the heart and soul of spirituality among the darkness to expose the sinners of hell and make way for grace to shine through. For this, Jigoku deserves its place alongside the other classic films released in the 60s. 

– Saul Muerte

1960s Horror Retrospective

The Flesh and the Fiend

Eyes Without A Face

Peeping Tom

Psycho

The Brides of Dracula

House of Usher

1960s Horror Retrospective: House of Usher (1960)

27 Saturday Apr 2024

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Up until now, American International Pictures had been overseeing black and white features shot on a low budget. House of Usher would prove a vital turning point for the film production company, marking it as the first that would be shot in colour. It would also be the first in seven collaborations between director Roger Corman and the enigmatic Vincent Price based on American Gothic writer and poet Edgar Allan Poe’s work. Although it strains a little from this well-known piece, one which modern audiences would be familiar with through Mike Flanagan’s love song to the artist, it is well crafted and stylised to have generated a worthy audience at the box office.

When Philip Winthrop embarks on a visit to the titular house in order to see his fiance Madeline Usher (Myrna Fahey) is greeted by her brother, Roderick (Price) instead. Roderick is hellbent on encouraging Philip to leave for fear that the usher curse that has been placed on the family and its household should further bring ruin to the couple. Philip does not take on this warning and instead aims to steal Madeline from the house. This plan falls awry though when Madeline slips into a catatonic state, and her fiance resigns with a heavy heart that his betrothed has died. Roderick meanwhile ebbs further into a state of madness, believing the curse to have struck again and entombing Madeline in the family crypt. This act is enough to send poor Madeline into hysteria, and thus the two siblings are joined in their own pandemonium.

Madness and its frailty is certainly exposed here as the core theme to the film and Vincent Price’s amplified performance is never more on song than here. From a bumper year in 1959, turning out in horror classics such as House on Haunted Hill; The Tingler; and The Bat, Price would cement his name in the dark genre and take great strides in the sixties and early seventies. This is very much his movie, ably supported by the visual chemistry of set design, gore and the quality of special effects for its time.

– Saul Muerte

1960s Horror Retrospective

The Flesh and the Fiend

Eyes Without A Face

Peeping Tom

Psycho

The Brides of Dracula

Movie review: The Jack In The Box Rises (2024)

26 Friday Apr 2024

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I have to admit to having a soft spot for this franchise in spite of its obvious misgivings.

Director Lawrence Fowler has spent considerable time working on the mythology surrounding the demonic possessed Jack-In-The-Box. In my recent review of The Jester, I spoke of pretenders to the silent killer crown, stating that no one so far has entered the arena with the same cut-throat appeal to match Art the Clown (Terrifier 3 can’t come soon enough in my eyes). While I still stand by this statement, I neglected to mention The Jack.

That’s not to say that it should be mentioned in the same breath as Art, as far as gore, or shock is concerned. The creature design still is a strong when and ably performed by Nicholas Anscombe (who played Doctor Clarke in The Jack in the Box: Awakening and can also be seen in Crocodile Swarm this month), replacing James Swanton who is starting to craft an impressive credit list appearing in Stopmotion; Lot 249 as The Mummy; and The First Omen.

This time around The Jack is resurrected once more to claim another six victims. The setting change here is within an exclusive girls boarding school, and with an overly elaborate set up, we finally follow Raven (Iasabella Colby Browne) having established that she is working for a cruel underground agency that are holding her father captive. Her only hope to save him is to do their bidding and retrieve the antique jack in the box from the afore-mentioned boarding school. Once arrived, we’re introduced to the would be victims, as they are slowly picked off one by one.

The hook here and one that places this feature marginally better than the previous sequel, is the choice to do a whodunit in the mix. We’re left to guess who is the wielder of the box and therefore protected against The Jack as he shuffles his way through the corridors to enact his next sacrifice. It is this component that keeps you connected but ultimately we’re still treading water in a franchise that could be so much better.

The Prognosis:

While I really want to see this succeed as The Jack once again takes victims from Britain’s privileged members, it still suffers under a poor script to ignite this premise.

Director Lawrence Fowler can’t keep resting on the one note that he serves up in his movies and if he does look to life beyond this trilogy, will need to up the ante in the gore stakes and breathe new life into his scriptwriting.

The competition is hot out there and there are filmmakers that have done better and smarter things on the same kind of budget.

  • Saul Muerte

The Jack In The Box Rises is available on Home Entertainment from May through Eagle Entertainment.

Movie Review: Infested (2024)

22 Monday Apr 2024

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Not only does Sébastien Vanicek’s debut feature impress to the point where you seriously take notice of his creature feature, but it did so to the point that a certain Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert have confidently placed him in the directorial chair for the next instalment of the Evil Dead franchise. 

Upon watching the film, you can see why as it places a group within the confines of a set location while they fend off beasties, left, right and centre.

In this instance, said beasties come in the form of a hostile and deadly species of desert spider. These arachnids are of a significant size and as they breed, which is frequent, their spawn increases in size and population to such a degree that they have quickly infested the block of flats that lays the setting of the movie.

We’re quickly introduced to the toxic, killing creatures from the beginning when three men capture the specimens, somewhere in the MIddle East, and come immediately under siege, proving that these creatures are going to be the headliners, and Vanicek doesn’t hold back, going bigger with every moment they arrive on screen.

The narrative picks up when Kaleb (Théo Christine) picks up one of the specimens from a Parisian pawn shop to add to his bug collection. Once home, though, he places the spider in a cardboard shoe box, before being embroiled in an on-going argument with his sister, Manon (Lisa Nyarko). This sibling confrontation is the heart of the movie, struggling to turnover their apartment since losing their parents and struggling to meet on agreed terms, but are forced to come together in order to find a way out of their diabolical situation. This in itself is a symbol for the detriment of their poverty stricken society, as both Kalen and Manon are a group of many citizens, trying to make ends meet, and making decisions along the way that they may regret, forcing a wedge amongst them. Can they put their differences aside and climb out of the infested rubble they call home?

Vanicek also does a superb job of crafting out the tension as the mismatch of misfits, wrangle their way through apartments and corridors, searching for the meaning behind the initial outbreak, cocooned inside by the police who have quarantined the area; to then searching their way out of the web of infiltration. 

The Prognosis:

There is a reason this movie has been the talk on Hollywood’s lips. Director Vanicek does an outstanding job for his directorial debut feature, building up the tension, placing the characters in a tightly, wound up situations and stretching the unbelievable arachnid feature, into one of jaw-dropping fun. Do yourself a favour and welcome the spider contagion, for it’s a cracker of a flick and will burrow into your mind and impregnate the cerebellum to become a hot contender for horror flick of the year.

  • Saul Muerte

Infested will be streaming Exclusively on Shudder and AMC+ from Friday 26 April

Retrospective: The Tunnel (2011)

19 Friday Apr 2024

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It’s hard to believe that it’s been 13 years since The Tunnel was released and broke new ground in the process. It’s been well documented how the creative team were seeking new ways to both fund and distribute their feature film. It was a bold enterprise that would be distributed through BitTorrent, exposing the film to millions for free, which some people in the industry found reprehensible. Furthermore, writer/producer partners Julian Harvey and Enzo Tedeschi would venture into enterprising means to seek funding by selling individual frames of the film for $1 before the cameras had even started rolling.

What is clear and fundamental to their success however was the passion, dedication, hard work and talent that was on display. All of which was the driving force for success as Tedeschi states, The Tunnel would provide him with the means to build his career upon. And while that declaration stands true, the fact that  each crew member was able to lean into their talents, whether it is Harvey and Tedeschi’s skills as not only storytellers but a deft hands in the editing room to spin a yarn with descent effect; or utilising a camera guy as one of their performers, Steve Davis, a talent in both areas; one he would leverage off a collective group of equally talented actors, Bel Delia; Andy Rodoreda; and Luke Arnold, each with their own unique take on their characters, and the collaboration of the troupe to support and strengthen one another lifts their performance off the screen. There’s also Julian and Enzo’s knack at keeping an eye on the bigger picture, combined with a focus on the finer details to work alongside Tedeschi plus keeping the film on track, especially when it started to escalate and gain traction fast.

It helps that The Tunnel also had a proficient director in Carlo Ledesma to provide the glue and unite all these elements together in order to make the film a reality.

What they established together was a defining moment, not just for Australian cinema but on a global scene too. They fought against the odds in what was deemed a controversial move at the time. The resistance was great, but they stood strong in their quest and produced a film that still stands strong today.

Yes, there have been advancements in technology in a relatively short space of time since its release, and in many ways the landscape remains the same, but the breakthrough The Tunnel created was a significant shift in filmmaking mentality and provided opportunity for other creatives to think outside of the box and seek alternative ways for their creativity to shine through.

– Saul Muerte

The Tunnel is currently streaming on Shudder and thankfully you can also get an insight into how the creative team pulled together and embarked on their intrepid journey with a fantastic behind the scenes documentary, The Tunnel: The Other Side of Darkness; also currently streaming on Shudder.

Movie Review: Abigail (2024)

18 Thursday Apr 2024

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Okay, so we’ve all seen the trailer by now.

And if you haven’t then pfft, call yourselves horror fans.

Anyways, the premise is: a group of criminals kidnap the daughter of a very powerful underworld boss. Holed-up at a spooky, and isolated, mansion they’re directed to wait it out till morning unaware the little girl is no ordinary little girl.

She’s a vampire.

Sorry a spoiler but not a spoiler.

It’s in the damn trailer.

Anyways, going into this you know you can expect some gory blood-drenched fun and it bloody delivers. To be perfectly honest, at times you can actually see the numbers blatantly etched into this paint-by-numbers monster horror, but I was actually beyond caring. I was having far too much fun with this.

Brought to you by the makers of the latest “Scream” incarnations and the awesome and not too dissimilar “Ready or not” – as it has the same trapped-in-a-mansion-with-someone/something-trying-to-kill-you vibes.

They’ve also clearly got enough weight to bring along an A-grade cast for the ride, including: Melissa Barrera (The new “Scream” movies), Kathryn Newton (“Freaky”), Dan Stevens (“Legion” and “The Guest”), and the supremely talented Alisha Weir (“Matilda”) as Abigail, as well as an assortment of others including the late Angus Cloud (“Euphoria”).

The Prognosis:

Look, I’m not going to go into this too deeply, nor does it warrant it. It’s just a very polished popcorn-horror for those who want just that. There’s jump-scares, there’s laughs, there’s gore, and the leads are completely drenched in dyed-red corn syrup by the end. Exactly what it says on the tin.

A must see for any horror fan.

  • Myles Davies

Movie Review: Late Night With The Devil (2024)

18 Thursday Apr 2024

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Australian sibling directors Cameron and Colin Cairnes have been meticulously crafting a distinctive voice from behind the lens and with their third outing, Late Night With The Devil they have tapped into the horror zeitgeist on a global scale. Their first feature, 100 Bloody Acres was a more straight up narrative, leaning heavily into macabre humour starring Angus Sampson and Damon Herriman as struggling brothers in the meat industry who add a secret ingredient into the mix with over-the-top comical results.

Upon closer scrutiny though, it would be their second feature, Scare Campaign that is more closely aligned with the direction that LNWTD would take, with a TV show venturing into the occult investigation that goes horribly wrong. Although it missed the mark to a degree in its execution, the Cairnes brothers have learnt from this previous outing and produced a creative and decisive tale with Late Night With The Devil. 

The premise pits David Dastmalchian in his first leading role, as late night talk show Night Owls host Jack Delroy. Delroy embarks on a last ditch attempt to pull back the ratings through a marketing stunt set on Halloween 1977, and books a psychic Christou (Fayssal Bazzi), a sceptic, and a parapsychologist (Laura Gordon) who claims that her surrogate daughter Lily is possessed by the devil. 

The look and feel of this feature is so sweetly on par, it is easy to drift into the era that it is set and be lured in by the spectacle; one of the many tricks that the Cairnes team perform well. The decade of choice is no mere accident either with America rife with violence and horror that has put society on the brink of sanity, exposed to the likes Son of Sam, David Berkowitz and Charles Manson, and with the breakdown of freedom, comes the exposure to occults and satanism, leaving everyone questioning to what end can humanity be exposed to? It is this playground that the directors’ choose to play in and through the medium of television, force this evil into the homes of every suburban household.

The Cairnes also have perfected their craft in storytelling, by slowly eeking out the threat of danger in their chosen format of late night television; each guest that is introduced is a snag on the tooth of the viewer, to pull them deeper into the world they have created, until the final act is revealed with the not so sweet Lily (Ingrid Torelli). The role of the critic, Carmichael Haig (Ian Bliss) is a smart storytelling device too by constantly asking the questions that audiences will naturally come up with. How much of this is real? How much is performance? And how deeply can we keep probing for the truth before we get our cat-like curiosity scorched?

The breadcrumbs that are left along the way, adds to the weight of the journey, and the torment that is exposed by the film’s conclusion. The performances are solid and none more so than Dastmalchian, who’s character Jack is the character truly under scrutiny. How much has he had to sacrifice in order to keep up with the likes of fellow late night presenter Johnny Carson? Is there more to the history behind his wife’s mysterious and fatal illness? These questions can only be dealt with through the meticulous direction and the strength in Dastmalchian’s performance; oozing charm one minute before serving a backhand of depravity the next. We’re guided on a trail of human decline where the end is nowhere to be seen with ruin at every turn.

The Prognosis:

The American Dream is served up on a plate here and scorched beyond recognition. The Cairnes Brothers capitalise on their previous efforts to expose the frailty and deprivation through a stylised lens that is fresh, inviting and delightfully disturbing. 

This is an example of an idea executed so adeptly that every creative player involved brings their A-game to the fold and delivers.

While there are some subtle flaws, the fact that they hold fast to the look, feel and strong performances, allows them to flourish and produce a solid, entertaining feature.

  • Saul Muerte