Category Archives: Movie review

Movie review: Brahms: The Boy II

24 Monday Feb 2020

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When I first about the release of Brahms: The Boy II there was two thoughts that crossed my mind.

1. Was it really necessary to make a sequel? Sure the first film was okay and had a fairly decent plot line that didn’t irritate too much, with a twist that was well played out. Plus Lauren Cohan will always focus my attention. But, did it warrant a franchise to be generated? Evidently, the production team felt the desire to resurrect the porcelain doll and his antics for the big screen again. At least the same director, William Brent Bell would be attached, so the vision and style should be consistent.

2. It starred Katie Holmes, which struck me that I hadn’t seen her since the whole Tom Cruise situation and the last horror film that I can recall her starring in was Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, which didn’t exactly ignite any passion in my heart.

The end result though is a curious one as it felt as though it completely forego the previous movies’ conclusion and went back to the heart of a possessed doll.

This in itself would be forgiven if the filmmakers really decided to ramp up the scares, but sadly this is lacking. I think they were attempting to build up on tension with a minimalistic approach, which didn’t come across at all. I know that the Brits (the supposed setting of the film is the UK) are incredibly reserved in many ways, but that’s taking the realism of the feature to the extreme.

The sequel does try to keep a theme throughout its franchise by having its central characters as victims of physical abuse. This time around mother, Lisa (Katie Holmes) and her son, Jude (Christopher Convery) of a house break-in that leaves them both mentally scarred. The latter is unable to talk since the ordeal.

So after numerous bouts of counseling, the father, Sean (Owain Yeoman) who is also feeling guilty from being away at work at the time of the attack, decides that the family needs to have a break and get away from it all. This brings them to the Heelshire’s property from the first film where Jude discovers a partially buried Brahms and instantly forms a close bond with it.

From here on in the feature attempts to instill some animosity with strange events occurring around the house, which Lisa believes is just her son playing up, but when things start to take a sinister turn, she begins to question her own sanity. Is Brahms real? Again this could have been played with more intelligence and evoked a reaction from both the character in delving into the psyche of Lisa and played upon the impact that physical abuse can have on people, especially if it ramped up the isolation component, a hard thing to do with 3 main characters, but not impossible. Instead it just coasts along content with ticking the boxes.

The only other character of note is Joseph the ominous groundskeeper who in fairness is expertly played by Ralph Ineson (The Witch). In fact all the cast deliver worthy performances, but the script and plotline is all too obvious. The only question I had for a brief second was whether there was an ulterior motive from the father Sean. Was he somehow involved in the ruse, but this was quickly swiped aside when it was evident that the movie was going in a very different direction.

The Prognosis:

There was ample opportunity to create a franchise from a fairly average film, but both director and the creative team seem content to rest on their laurels

The scares are absent. The thrill factor is non-existent. And my interest waned before the half hour mark, as I had no care or interest in what happened to the characters.

Another disappointment for the start of 2020.

– Saul Muerte

Retrospective: Pitch Black

20 Thursday Feb 2020

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It was the year 2000 and I was in the infancy of my young adulthood, still high on the fumes of alcohol and potentially under the influence of some controlled substances, so one could argue that my views or opinions were clouded.
It was also at the turn of the millennium with the promise of new and prosperous things to come. So when two fellow like-minded comrades in celluloid crime and I spooled out of the local auditorium, we found ourselves in deep conversation about the sci-fi action horror film that we had just witnessed. I remember feeling greatly impacted by it with the entire concept and execution leaving me enthralled.
Specifically I recall stating that it was an instant classic with a potential cult following in the making and at least one of my colleagues nodded in full agreement with my bold proclamation.

On paper Pitch Black sounds like your average sci-fi action flick with Vin Diesel at the helm, (poised on the precipice of his portrayal of Dominic Toretto from The Fast and the Furious and Xander Cage from xXx that would cement his name in the genre for years to come) bringing a raw energy to his character that ripples beneath the surface and threatens to let loose on his fellow human counterparts, much like the real enemy lurking beneath the planets surface.
Pitch Black would even project the character of Riddick in a further two adventures on the big screen with a third film announced on its way, proving that there is still a lot of appeal on offer.

It’s this raw energy that still resonates on screen today on repeated viewing and connected once again with me, and this time I was not under the influence….kind of.

Supported by a cracking, primarily Australian cast in Radha Mitchell (Silent Hill, Rogue), Lewis Fitz-Gerald (Breaker Morant), Claudia Black (Farscape, Stargate SG-1), Rhianna Griffith, and Simon Burke (The Devil’s Playground), all of whom bring their “A Game” with a high level of intensity and humanity to their role. The irony in that the more human their characters display, the greater their chance of being exposed, and their emotions leading them to ruin. In order to survive in Pitch Black, you need to strip away all emotions or live with that mask permanently in place.
It also helps that there are a couple of excellent hard-hitters on screen to with hard-boiled futuristic cop without a conscience played by Cole Hauser, and the ultimate survivalist and in this instance, a man of faith, played by Ketih David.

David Eggby keeps the gritty realism throughout his stunning cinematography that eschews a beautiful landscape in a remote Australian landscape to bring an otherworldly factor on screen blasting the audience with a rich array of colours and visuals.

Both the creature effects and visual effects team also deserve their own accolades for bringing a rich and diverse approach to the nocturnal alien creatures that hunt down the humans and fighting among themselves for the scraps, highlighting once again the theme of survival in a desolate and harsh terrain. 

It’s a simple and age-old premise that works because of the combination of all of these elements that make this film still strong today. If you can forgive the odd blemish, Pitch Black deserves high praise and repeat viewing. It may be twenty years old but in this writers’ mind, it is one of the greatest sci-fi horror films since the turn of the century. 

  • Saul Muerte

Movie review: Fantasy Island

18 Tuesday Feb 2020

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“Ze plane, boss, ze plane”

Whilst we’re a far cry from the original tv series inspiration that spawned this horror-themed adaptation, it is hard to shake off the image of Hervé Villechaize’s infamous cry at the beginning of most episodes to announce the arrival of the next unwitting visitors to Fantasy Island. The film does have its own nods with an entirely different character, Julie (loosely based on Mr. Roarke’s God-daughter from the series in name mainly) declaring the arrival of our main characters Melanie (Lucy Hale), Gwen (Maggie Q), Patrick (Austin Stowell), Brax (Jimmy O. Yang), and JD (Ryan Hansen).

Each of these characters come with their own baggage that slowly unravels as they try to live out their fantasy with inevitable consequences. 

Michael Pena does his best to wrangle out the magnanimous and mysterious Mr Roarke, so closely identified with Ricardo Montalbán’s tv portrayal, who in my pre-adolescent mind has strangely warped with Christopher Lee’s Saramanga from The Man With The Golden Gun, partly due to Villechaize starring in both projects. The problem is that Pena is left with little to do other than to play out the characters fantasies. Despite harbouring a secret of his own, this is underplayed to serve out the interactions of the island itself. 

This may have been a wise choice if these fantasies had any firm grounding, but instead seem a bit wishy-washy. Melanie is out for revenge from being bullied at school and admittedly the initial encounter is fun and intriguing as she unwittingly dishes out her anger through what she believes is a hologram of her tormentor, but once that has played its part the rest of her journey is left wanting. 

Likewise Patrick’s army pursuit to live out his father’s life only to encounter his real father, and brothers Patrick and Brax living up a bachelor style freedom and entertainment lacks any personality or appeal.

The only hook for me was Maggie Q’s performance of Gwen that remains believable, who at first believes her fantasy is to change her history by saying yes to a man’s proposal whom she loved and to have a daughter, however she never really believes she deserves this version of her life as like the others, she has a darker history lurking beneath and it is this reproduction that she realises needs to play out. 

Oh and a great cameo from Kim Coates who simply hams up his role gloriously. More of him was desperately needed.

The prognosis:

As the audience is left weaving their way through a convoluted storyline and the various morals and dilemmas that each of the characters faces, we’re left unable to truly connect to any of them as there simply isn’t enough substance. 

When the big reveal finally happens, it feels tacked on and peels slowly away with an incredibly unsatisfying conclusion. 

It’s poorly managed and no matter how much Michael Rooker tries to inject some much needed gravitas into the fold as the strange guy who knows the secret of the island, he simply can’t lift it out of the quagmire of murkiness. The problem appears to be that the film doesn’t know how to present itself; horror, comedy, thriller.

Blumhouse who have made a name for attracting audiences to their take on teen horror, may have fallen into tired territory now with the relatively week turnouts in  Ma, and Black Christmas last year. Has the fizz run out from this production company?

It would have been interesting to see it played out by masters of the fantastical in either Del Toro or Bayona and really blend those eerie mystical moments with horror elements. 

Maybe it just isn’t our fantasy that’s being played out after all and perhaps i should just go back to my morphed take of Montalbán and Lee to deliver my ideal of Mr. Roarke and a dark world that lay beneath Fantasy Island. A missed opportunity.

  • Saul Muerte 

Movie review: The Lighthouse

08 Saturday Feb 2020

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Director Robert Eggers seems destined to divide audiences between digging his jam or struggling to connect with the style and pace that he subjects to his stories.
Thankfully, I fall into the former and simply adored his directorial debut, The VVitch starring Anya Taylor Joy which was an incredibly slow burn but was rich in storytelling and strongly supported by some fantastic acting, grounding the fantastical in reality. Combined with his brother and fellow scribe Max, The Eggers offer a fresh approach to the genre and for that I was eager to see what and how he would follow it up.

This love song to Greek mythology pits two strangers on an isolated location, in this case a two-manned lighthouse on a remote and savage island. During its 1hr 49 minute running time, audiences are subjected to a battle of egos, a battle of wills and a fight for power and sanity. Through the fantastical delusions on show, The Lighthouse relies heavily on its two central performers; Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), contracted to serve 4 weeks at the lighthouse and continually forced to endure gruelling physical tasks by Thomas Wake (Willem Defoe), a miserable irate drunk who appears to get his kicks from punishing Winslow and basking naked in the glow of the light in the tower. Propitiously, both actors more than bring the goods as the bitterness between their characters escalates to an inevitable climax that forces an eruption of testosterone-fueled energy to overflow.

The Prognosis:

Shot entirely in black and white, Robert Eggers proves once again to be a master in storytelling and exerts a narrative that twists and turns, providing a remarkable modern spin merging together two age old tales.
Will it suit everyone’s tastes? No

Can it be classed as horror? Not really.

But it’s harrowing and beautifully crafted from one of this generation’s most imaginative directors. 

  • Saul Muerte

Movie review: The Grudge (2020)

05 Wednesday Feb 2020

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Since the release of Ju On: The Grudge, Kayako has been scaring audiences with her twisted movements and haunting death rattle croak elevating her alongside her fellow japanese vengeful spirit, Sadako within the Horror community. Her image transcended across both Japan and America culture, spawning numerous movies with deep resonation along the way, including several filmmakers. Among them and heralding the reboot / reimagining is prolific director Nicolas Pesce, who sent ripples in the film world with his debut The Eyes of My Mother and his sophomore feature Piercing. I was eager to see what Pesce would bring to the celluloid space for his third outing, and was further intrigued by his choice to step into the Ju-On universe promising something more darker, grittier, and more realistic. Whilst I can acknowledge that the film has a realistic quality, unfortunately I struggle to connect with the other two components alleged to be Pesce’s approach.

I tried to scrutinise where he could have misfired and for me it came down to a couple of components; Firstly, the fractured storyline, ordinarily a device that doesn’t grate on me and I often welcome the fragmented reconstruction of narratives, but unfortunately the dots that are used to connect or reframe the films’ structure are weak and lack intelligence. With a lot more focus and planning, this technique could have paid off. Secondly, the dialogue needed to be tighter, at times feeling rushed or obvious, leaving the talented cast trying to do a lot of heavy lifting in order to reach the visualists’ aim for dark and gritty. Lastly, I had read that Pesce wanted to incorporate a conglomerate of visuals that typified the film series and inject with his own musings, but in doing so, the film loses its identity and becomes too convoluted in the process. 

The Prognosis:

For a director on the rise, Pesce clearly wanted to reach out and attempt to infuse his vision into a much-loved franchise in need of a reawakening. On paper, he had the right ingredients, a flair for the scare, a twisted outlook, actors with plenty of chop, and an already established franchise. He even projected the repetition of the number 4 into the fold to highlight the tetraphobia so closely associated with the film series, proving that Pesce knows his subject well.
The end result though fell flat, with too many ideas and not enough weight to ground Pesce’s creativity to produce a film to scare and delight the horror masses. Instead we are left floating around aimlessly, wondering if Kayako is turning in her grave at her latest on-screen treatment and if she has croaked her last croak.

  • Saul Muerte

Movie review: Underwater

23 Thursday Jan 2020

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Underwater sci-fi action horror films. How many can you name? There’s Leviathan 1989, Deep Blue Sea 1999, and Pandorum 2009.
Basically the 9th year of every decade Hollywood has to release an epic underwater sci fi horror adventure. It’s law.
And in 2019 we have Underwater.
Except Underwater was actually completed in 2017. And it was released at the beginning of 2020 (thank you Disney for your ongoing mission to buy up the world. If you don’t know what that means, just look it up).
Also Pandorum was more of a space epic (even though – spoiler alert – the ship was at the bottom of an ocean all along!) And before you say The Abyss was released in 1989 – that was epic in sci-finess, not so much horror.

Anyway, that’s enough connecting imaginary dots. Let’s talk about a film that has a lot of hardware, a whole lot of sea, and a lot of (another spoiler alert) sea monsters.

Underwater is a curious film in that its premise leaps right off the page as a textbook B-Grade Hollywood pitch. Ie: A group of deep-sea miners mine in the deep sea, and they mine too far and awake (dramatic pause) something… (hint, it’s sea monsters).
And that’s pretty much it. Sea monsters are pissed at a bunch of oxygen breathing aliens jack hammering the crap out of their neighbourhood, so they do something about it. And they are faster than the humans, stronger than the humans, and they like to eat the humans (because let’s face it, if they were weaker, slower and just wanted to lick us… that would make for a pretty awesome film actually).

Anyway, you just know that the humans – at severe disadvantage strength wise, oxygen wise, atmospheric pressure wise (the list goes on) are gonna go through an Alien-esque series of eliminations (ie: one-by-one) before we reach the end of the film.

Now it’s always been our stance at Surgeons of Horror that just because something has a B-Grade set up, doesn’t mean it has to be a B-grade movie experience.
There are more than a handful of films that fit this definition – Tremors, The Loved Ones, Alien Raiders (this is a list that goes on too) and there is no greater delight than watching a flick you think is going to be a switch-off event, but you come out of it thinking “holy crap that was surprisingly good”!

Misdirect – Underwater ISN’T that kind of film. BUT what it does have going for it is its budget – rumoured to be between $50 – $80 mill (probably closer to the higher end) and when you have an epic underwater disaster movie (as in disaster befalls the occupants IN the movie) the bigger and more visceral you can make it, the better.
And it is here where Underwater excels. Now I am a huge fan of what I call “hardware” movies, and from corridors that buckle and tear apart, to awesome mechanical wet suits that look like they’re straight out of Mecha; to the fact that the cast spend a lot of time walking underwater when in ACTUAL FACT they’re in a dry studio surrounded by convincing CG water – you can safely say every cent makes it on screen.
And Underwater is a BIG screen experience, as you want to literally feel the pressure of tons of sea water that can crush you in a second. It’s the rollercoaster/popcorn sensation you pay for when seeing this sort of movie.
Especially when you get to the end “reveal”. Because depending on the day, you’re either gonna say “oh that’s cool” or “that’s so stupid” because, as previously established, it’s has a B-grade movie premise.
So pro-tip, if you wanna enjoy it, go in with a “take me on an adventure” frame of mind.

The direction is solid (especially considering the director William Eubank is only 37) and Kirsten Stewart is half believable as a young mechanical engineer living and working on an underwater oil rig situated at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. The other half of the time she plays stony and
stoic (compared to her other default acting style, which is stoic and stony) but on the other-other hand it sort of works; as most engineers, when faced with a crisis, tend to work the problem rather than squander energy by emoting too much.

T.J. Miller pretty much also plays T.J. Miller – a slob who wears hair clips firing off the best one-liners etc. Although they do give his character a security blanket in the form of a stuffed bunny. So that’s a little different I suppose.

Anyway, all up – from go-to-whoa – Underwater propels you along a wet ‘n’ wild marine ride that doesn’t let up. Also, there are no goofy credits, so feel free to get up and leave when they start to roll.

Prognosis:

You won’t be damp by the end of it, but you just might feel refreshed!
– Antony Yee

I thought it was a bit crap actually.
– Sara Yee

Movie review: Critters Attack!

21 Saturday Dec 2019

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Back in 1986 Critters was released on the general public and most people assumed they were a cash in from the success of Gremlins a couple of years earlier.
I too assumed this was the case but director Stephen Herek refuted this connection.
Unlike those little green men, Critters has ventured further and developed four sequels, so for good or ill we’ve witnessed the Krites rampaging and chomping their way across the globe.

This time around, there’s no crackpot Charlie McFadden hurling molotov cocktails in order to save the human race, so instead the Warner Bros team enticed scream horror icon Dee Wallace back to resurrect her bounty hunter character under a different alias, Aunty Dee to keep the franchise “in canon”.

The movie projects our heroine, Drea (Tashia Washington) who offers to take up babysitting duties in order to win brownie points and win her way into the University of her choice, only to be subjected to the balls of ferocious furry carnivores intent on devouring humans and reproduction.

In what is presented as some kind of crazed traditional Hallmark movie infused with horror elements, it ordinarily could be dismissed based on the acting talents on show (Wallace excepted) and the fairly sublime narrative. Thankfully the film’s namesake creatures are appetite enough to subject the average horror fan to some much-needed kills and is injected with some decent humour along the way. This emphasises just how tongue-in-cheek the creators are willing to take the franchise and quite frankly, the audience really shouldn’t take it too seriously at all.

Prognosis:

This maybe their fifth outing, but the Critters prove to be just as insatiable for human consumption and terrorizing their victims with deliciously fun low-budget humour.

The Krites more than make up for their made for tv format as long as you don’t expect anything too demanding or high-brow.

  • Saul Muerte

Movie review: Bliss

18 Wednesday Dec 2019

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Straight from the grill, Bliss is a film that is served under-cooked, raw and in desperate need of some substance, rather than the vacuous material that director Joe Begos tries to experiment with. 

Unfortunately, part of his downfall is presenting a narrative with some really unlikeable characters including the lead protagonist Dezzy (Dora Madison), a struggling artist who strives through a creative block, fuelled with any hallucinogenic substances that she can consume. Dezzy is such a difficult character to connect with as she is so self-consumed and saps the energy of those around her.
As a viewer this only alienates us and there is no reprieve or any offer of redemption. Instead she just aimlessly drives around in her own (or our) confusion in search of another hit to drive her out of her boredom (and ours again) to fill her life.

One night, amongst the haze and frantic lights within a club, Dezzy teams up with Courtney and her bloke, when the night takes a dark and twisted turn that leaves Dezzy questioning her visions and battling with the memories from the night to decipher illusions from reality. 

Slowly, and we mean really slowly, Dezzy comes to realise that the pains and blood thirst have a stronger meaning than a crappy come down and needs to satiate her need. As the movie descends into hell, things start to get really interesting and the more crazed and frenetic Dezzy becomes. It’s just a shame that it’s left until the final act for there to be enough fire under the belly of the beast to drive plot to its inevitable conclusion. 

A worthy mention should go out to Jeremy Gardner (Fingers) who continues to impress despite being handed little screen time, and manages to carve out an engrossing character in jilted boyfriend Clive, marking another worthy screen entry and a name that people should keep an eye on.

Prognosis:

A modern vampire tale that falls short of any worthiness and drifts along aimlessly without any real bite for its audience to sink into.
Despite this, there are some cool moments from Director Joe Begos, that may just tip him onto the Surgeons radar, and provide enough for some viewers to appreciate his talent.

  • Saul Muerte

Movie review: Wrinkles the Clown

14 Saturday Dec 2019

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We’ve all heard of the boogeyman or the urban legend behind Bloody Mary, and since the introduction of the internet, mythical figures such as the Slender Man has spread across social platforms like wildfire. With the ever-changing beast that online mediums can deliver, it seemed inevitable that one such phantom or creature would kick up a hornet’s nest causing a controversial scene that would set tongues wagging and activate a series of debates about the rights and wrongs of social interaction and mischief.

Enter Wrinkles the Clown when a video was uploaded on YouTube back in 2015 that depicted a clown hidden beneath the bed of a young girl, and emerges to turn off the camera.

The video soon went viral and a further succession of videos that showed Wrinkles scaring more kids, by entering their homes which in turn spurred a series of Wrinkles sightings across America. The man beneath the clown mask would pursue his project further by himself as a scary clown for hire, sparking an interest from parents willing to subject their own children to the threat of Wrinkles visiting them should they misbehave. Such a controversial action at its heart and by promoting negative reinforcement in parenting styles, the subject would warrant further scrutiny from the public and dividing many. 

Whether you believe in his methods or not, the man behind the mask, projected as a 65 year old retired man has seen his business propel beyond his expectations, and receives numerous phone calls on a daily basis, either from the afore-mentioned parents, or from bewildered or adventurous young kids pushing their own boundaries to seek out Wrinkles and find out if he truly exists.

One thing is certain that part of the hyperbole is fueled by the known condition of coulrophobia, otherwise known as a fear of clowns, and one that I can identify with thanks partly to Tin Curry’s adaptation of Pennywise the clown from Stephen King’s It and a certain visit to Circus World in Florida when I was seven years old, but that’s another story.
The point is that, this fear is more than apparent for some and is the stuff of nightmares. It can take one small thing to ignite this fear and before you know it, there’s a pandemic on our hands.
Although, we’re not that extreme with this case, the man behind the clown mask is no fool and is able to tap into this agitation and subject these horrors for the sake of art. Without giving the game away, there is a further reveal towards the movies final act that subjects the audience to further marvel and questioning how deep the mythology behind Wrinkles the Clown will go.

Prognosis:

Wrinkles the Clown offers up a brilliant insight into art and society and subjects one of our fears, questioning whether parents should project those trepidations on their children in order for them to conform.
Director Michael Beach Nichols handles the subject matter on a tightrope of interest and horror, where the viewer is both observer and participant, making this a must watch documentary.

Movie review: Black Christmas (2019)

11 Wednesday Dec 2019

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“Tis the season to get rebooted, fa la-la la la la la la, No!”

This year, in our stocking, we got a modern day retelling of the 1974 horror/thriller Black Christmas, a classic of horror suspense about a hostile murderer hiding somewhere within the dorm of a university terrorising the group of young women living there.

Check out The Surgeons podcast on the original film here

Where as the 1974 original had an eerie feel with its point of view shots from the killers perspective, creepy phone calls from inside the house and a genuine sense of fear, this years remake/reboot/whatever plays out more like a student film with a bigger budget.
Everything that made the original appealing and unique is stripped away and replaced with obvious setups (from the opening shots) and even more blatant star characters who you just know will be the antagonist.
It’s set up to be a story about toxic masculinity and institutional indoctrination of their traditions, something succinctly put by Rick and Morty “Scientifically; traditions are a stupid thing.”


SPOILERS!!!

The film sets up a hidden society of male elitist pricks who are using black eye gunk magic to possess new recruits to their cult, of elitist pricks, most of these men being athletically inclined and spout the word “bitch” comically often.
My main gripe, among so many others, was the final confrontation; The protagonist is about to die at the hands of said pricks when suddenly a group of her female friends burst through the door armed with bow and arrow and other useless shit and commence a big ol arse whoopin…
I remind you that said pricks are jocks and possessed by black eye gunk magic.
Putting the main characters in such an implausible position infuriated me as you only insult the position you are trying to emulate if there is no justification for their capability.
In the original we didn’t know who the murder was, in this version we see Cary Elwes and know he’s gonna be the bad guy. 

The modern telling of Black Christmas focuses on ‘toxic masculinity’ within colleges and educational institutions but also with black magic. The story of a female student who had been sexually assaulted by a male student and not taken seriously is told sympathetically and drives the story quite well. Finding her confidence to continue living her life among the constant slander from other students was the route that worked in this film. There was no need to include black eye gunk magic and a brawl of men vs women in the climax of the film.

Prognosis:

If I had a choice twixt the two I would be watching the original over the new version which could have a better if you cut out the last 20 minutes.  

A shame too as it had some really good messages that could have been more profound without the supernatural elements or the obvious disdain for men.

  • Richard Lovegrove