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“Tis the season to get rebooted, fa la-la la la la la la, No!”

This year, in our stocking, we got a modern day retelling of the 1974 horror/thriller Black Christmas, a classic of horror suspense about a hostile murderer hiding somewhere within the dorm of a university terrorising the group of young women living there.

Check out The Surgeons podcast on the original film here

Where as the 1974 original had an eerie feel with its point of view shots from the killers perspective, creepy phone calls from inside the house and a genuine sense of fear, this years remake/reboot/whatever plays out more like a student film with a bigger budget.
Everything that made the original appealing and unique is stripped away and replaced with obvious setups (from the opening shots) and even more blatant star characters who you just know will be the antagonist.
It’s set up to be a story about toxic masculinity and institutional indoctrination of their traditions, something succinctly put by Rick and Morty “Scientifically; traditions are a stupid thing.”


SPOILERS!!!

The film sets up a hidden society of male elitist pricks who are using black eye gunk magic to possess new recruits to their cult, of elitist pricks, most of these men being athletically inclined and spout the word “bitch” comically often.
My main gripe, among so many others, was the final confrontation; The protagonist is about to die at the hands of said pricks when suddenly a group of her female friends burst through the door armed with bow and arrow and other useless shit and commence a big ol arse whoopin…
I remind you that said pricks are jocks and possessed by black eye gunk magic.
Putting the main characters in such an implausible position infuriated me as you only insult the position you are trying to emulate if there is no justification for their capability.
In the original we didn’t know who the murder was, in this version we see Cary Elwes and know he’s gonna be the bad guy. 

The modern telling of Black Christmas focuses on ‘toxic masculinity’ within colleges and educational institutions but also with black magic. The story of a female student who had been sexually assaulted by a male student and not taken seriously is told sympathetically and drives the story quite well. Finding her confidence to continue living her life among the constant slander from other students was the route that worked in this film. There was no need to include black eye gunk magic and a brawl of men vs women in the climax of the film.

Prognosis:

If I had a choice twixt the two I would be watching the original over the new version which could have a better if you cut out the last 20 minutes.  

A shame too as it had some really good messages that could have been more profound without the supernatural elements or the obvious disdain for men.

  • Richard Lovegrove