There’s woeful. And then there’s Saturday the 14th.

This strange attempt at comedy horror belongs in the film vault with every attempt that it tries to project with humour either falling into try hard, over the top camp, or simply dreadful.

With a cast that includes Richard Benjamin (Westworld), Paula Prentiss (The Stepford Wives) and Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development), the film is not short in talent in front of the camera, but when you have a script that is this poor, there’s no hope for the greatest of actors being able to breathe life into lamented script.

Speaking of, the premise of the film follows a family, father John (Benjamin), mother Mary (Prentiss), daughter Debbie, and son Billy, move into their deceased Uncle’s house. Meanwhile, a vampire called Waldemar (Tambor) and his wife Yolanda are trying to get into the house because it supposedly contains a book of evil… No, unfortunately not that book.

From here on in the movie goes through the motions of using every trope going and lifting off the monsters from yester-year to subject the supposed frights to the screen. It even resurrects a Van Helsing into the fold, who is also on the hunt for the book of evil, and tries to do a mediocre attempt at turning the tables of what or who we expect villainy to appear from.

To say that I found this film a struggle is a gross understatement. A shameful attempt at marrying comedy and horror whilst being trapped in an archaic form of humour, leaves you wishing you had your last 76 minutes back.

• Saul Muerte