I Know What You Did Last Summer.  Followed by I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer.  Followed by I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer.  Followed by an Indian rip off and a TV Series.

Who knew those last 3 were a thing?!

And now, a Legacy Sequel!  That’s the term apparently!  Which is basically what you call a sequel that happens so long after the last movie you can get away with slapping it with the original title.

Like The Thing and The Thing and Halloween and Halloween and Scream and Scream. 

Or Inside Out and Inside Out and Inside Out and Inside Out and Inside Out.  Although those last 5 had nothing to do with each other – that was just an exercise to show off I can use Google as a search engine.

Now with this film they really should have kept the momentum going with something like “Anyway, Where Were We?  Oh Yeah!  I REALLY Know What You Did Last Summer and Maaaan Are You In Twouble…”

‘Cause why not?

But I digress. When this instalment was announced, it seemed like a blatant cash in on the last Scream release.  Except that film didn’t have its female Party of 5 lead, whereas this movie does.

So apart from Jennifer Love Hewitt returning as Julie James, we have Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar AKA Freddie Prinze Jr. returning as Ray Bronson and…. Mrs. Sarah Michelle Gellar AKA Sarah Michelle Gellar returning as Helen Shivers.

And yes, for those of you who remember the original, that particular last factoid throws up a question that you can probably answer after thinking about it for half a second.

So – to catch you up on the premise of the original – a bunch of rather well-off white kids kill a stranger whilst driving irresponsibly on a quiet bendy road on the side of a hill.

Realising they can get away with this crime if they just stay schtum, we fast-forward a year later and we find these teenagers are dealing with what they’ve done in different ways – none of them healthy.

And their sitch gets worse when they get a mysterious note delivered to them that says the title of the movie, and a large dark figure dressed like a fisherman in a slicker (apparently that’s what the heavy raincoat look is called) armed with a hook starts stalking and killing them.

BUT with this legacy sequel, a bunch of rather well-off white kids kill a stranger whilst driving irresponsibly on a quiet bendy road on the side of a hill.

Realising they can get away with this crime if they just stay schtum, we fast-forward a year later and we find these teenagers are dealing with what they’ve done in different ways – none of them healthy.

And their sitch gets worse when they get a mysterious note delivered to them that says the title of the movie, and a large dark figure dressed like a fisherman in a slicker (apparently that’s what the heavy raincoat look is called) armed with a hook starts stalking and killing them.

So yeah.  With that I’m pretty much at a loss as to what to say next.  So… with his take on the film – here’s Chris Dawes…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAAAAAAAA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jesus Christ.

Ok.

So, get someone drunk. Like really drunk. Like “wheelbarrow of vodka and a hose” drunk.

Then, try to get them to recount the plotlines of every prior I Know What You Did movie.

That is this script.

It’s the most hilariously incoherent pastiche of moments from the earlier gear you could possibly spend 50 million dollars to create.

It is an absolutely terrible film. Just soooooo goddamn dire – but it’s the kind of dire that is enjoyed in the company of friends, with whom you will share every inconceivably written plot point and sophomorically acted quotation from now until the end of time.

I loved every fucking second of it, 1000% worth the price of admission.

Also, watch it with as many Zoomer and Alpha influencers who didn’t grow up ensconced in the culture as you can – their bewildered reactions to everything happening made it all the more special.

Thanks Chris!

Well there you have it.  He liked it!

The Prognosis:

Long story short, it’s not very good.  But then again, they’ve always been the poor relation to the SCREAM films.  Although it’s nice to see Jennifer Love Hewitt again.  And oh yeah – spoiler alert – there is a twisty twist that makes you feel… nothing really.  Unless you’re invested in this franchise.  In which case you cheeky little R. Slicker 😉

• Antony Yee and Chris Dawes