Some films make you question how they ever got made. Attack of the Beast Creatures is one of those films — a gloriously inept, low-budget oddity that barely scrapes together a plot but delivers just enough unintentional hilarity to justify its cult following. Lost for years in VHS obscurity, it’s the kind of movie you stumble across late at night and convince yourself was a fever dream.
After a shipwreck leaves a group of survivors stranded on a remote island, they soon discover the land is crawling with tiny, screeching, flesh-eating puppet creatures. That’s pretty much the entire plot. These rubbery monsters — who look like dollar-store tiki dolls with bad attitudes — hurl themselves at their victims in slow-motion attacks that manage to be both hysterical and strangely charming. It’s amateur hour on all fronts: shaky camera work, soap opera-level acting, and a score that sounds like someone noodling on a Casio keyboard during a power outage.
And yet, for all its incompetence, Attack of the Beast Creatures has an earnestness that’s hard to hate. There’s no irony or winking at the camera — the filmmakers genuinely thought they were making a terrifying survival horror movie. That misplaced sincerity is part of what makes it so watchable, especially for fans of bad movie nights and VHS-era junk treasures.
The Prognosis:
It’s a slog in places, with padded scenes and cardboard characters, but the sheer absurdity of being hunted by screeching, knee-high monsters keeps things oddly entertaining. It’s terrible — make no mistake — but it’s also a prime example of ’80s regional horror going for broke with no money and too much imagination. You may not survive the terror, but you’ll definitely survive with a smirk.
- Saul Muerte