Trapped in a Cave of Terror! is the tagline, but what It’s Alive! really traps you in is 80 minutes of painfully sluggish pacing, cardboard performances, and a prehistoric monster that looks like it crawled out of a craft store clearance bin.

Directed by infamous B-movie auteur Larry Buchanan, It’s Alive! is emblematic of his career: micro-budget genre filmmaking produced quickly and cheaply, often for television syndication. Known for titles like Zontar, the Thing from Venus and Curse of the Swamp Creature, Buchanan built a niche out of public domain plots, recycled storylines, and rubber-suited monstrosities. Unfortunately, It’s Alive! may be one of his least inspired efforts—and that’s saying something.

The “plot,” such as it is, involves a deranged farmer who lures three travellers into a cave and traps them with his pet monster—a leftover from some vague prehistoric past. What unfolds is a glacial march through bad dialogue, inert suspense, and long, dark cave scenes where it’s hard to tell whether anything is happening at all. Even by Buchanan’s notoriously low standards, the energy here feels drained.

The monster, when it finally appears, is a masterclass in zero-budget filmmaking—part papier-mâché, part bargain-bin rubber. It’s hard to be scared of something that looks so awkwardly immobile, and worse, it barely appears in the film. Most of the runtime is devoted to the characters sitting around, arguing, or reacting to sounds in the dark, presumably because the costume couldn’t withstand more than a few minutes of movement.

To Buchanan’s credit, he knew how to make movies fast and cheap—and there’s a certain campy charm to his drive-in philosophy. But in It’s Alive!, even that charm is in short supply. The film is padded, slow, and visually murky, with a script that feels like it was written on the back of a diner napkin during a lunch break.

The Prognosis:

Looking back, It’s Alive! might be worth a glance for die-hard fans of no-budget horror or as a curiosity in the Buchanan filmography. But for most, this is one fossil that should’ve stayed buried.

• Saul Muerte