In the vast landscape of 1960s horror cinema, Two on a Guillotine occupies a curious space. Directed by William Conrad, the film aimed to combine psychological thrills with a touch of macabre humour, but unfortunately, it never quite manages to pull off either convincingly. What we get instead is a somewhat paltry entry that fails to leave a lasting impression, both in its execution and in its impact on the genre.

The film stars Connie Stevens as the daughter of a famous magician (played by Cesar Romero) who mysteriously disappeared years before. Upon her father’s death, she is tasked with spending seven nights in his creepy mansion in order to inherit his fortune. The setup is classic horror fodder, but the film struggles to deliver on its promises. The haunted house elements, complete with secret passages and ominous shadows, are all there, but they feel more like props in a stage play than genuine sources of dread.

Stevens, better known for her work in television and musicals, is serviceable in the lead role, but her performance lacks the depth needed to carry a horror film. Romero, on the other hand, brings a certain charm as the sinister magician, but his screen time is disappointingly brief. His presence, though magnetic, isn’t enough to elevate the film above its middling script.

One of the film’s biggest issues is its pacing. At nearly two hours, it feels overly long, with many scenes dragging on without building the necessary tension. The plot meanders through a series of predictable twists, and while there are a few moments of genuine suspense, they are few and far between. The supposed scares, like the titular guillotine, never quite deliver the thrills one might hope for. Instead, they come off as more gimmicky than terrifying.

Two on a Guillotine attempts to balance its horror elements with light-hearted humour, but this balance feels off-kilter. The comedic moments often undercut the tension, leaving the viewer unsure of whether to be scared or amused. It’s a tonal mishmash that ultimately works against the film’s intended atmosphere.

The production values, while decent for the time, don’t do much to make the film stand out. The sets are uninspired, and the cinematography, though competent, lacks the stylistic flair seen in other horror films of the era. Even the score, which could have added a layer of tension, feels generic and unmemorable.

The Prognosis:

Two on a Guillotine is a film that had potential but never quite realized it. It’s not outright bad, but it’s certainly not a standout either. For those interested in 1960s horror, there are far better options to explore. This film, while not entirely without merit, ultimately feels like a footnote in the genre’s history—a curiosity rather than a classic.

• Saul Muerte